Michael Crawford - It Only Takes A Moment

This is just awesome:


This is just the best song they could have chosen to open up for this movie. Listen to it, if not the whole clip:


And if you'd like, sing along:
Out there
There's a world outside of Yonkers
Way out there beyond this hick town, Barnaby
There's a slick town, Barnaby
Out there
Full of shine and full of sparkle
Close your eyes and see it glisten, Barnaby
Listen, Barnaby...
Put on your Sunday clothes,
There's lots of world out there
Get out the brillantine and dime cigars
We're gonna find adventure in the evening air
Girls in white in a perfumed night
Where the lights are bright as the stars!
Put on your Sunday clothes, we're gonna ride through town
In one of those new horsedrawn open cars
We'll see the shows at Delmonicos
And we'll close the town in a whirl
And we won't come until we've kissed a girl!

I love you, Wall-E.

The Changes - When I Wake

P.S. Going through some old pictures on my mom's computer (again). If you think I'm weird now, what was I thinking then?

1. Still have those shoes and nothing to wear with them. It's a shame because they're fucking gnar. That's right.
2. That's my wedding dress. I bought it at a vintage store in Tucson for only $30. I've worn it twice; BHS fashion show and out to a fancy dinner with Joseph. The waitress told me all the waitresses loved it.
3. I miss my long hair so much.
4. I miss that room with all my heart.
5. Black & white. It makes me really excited about the new roll I recently put into my K1000 :) It also makes me really excited about taking pictures overall. ASU is a load of shit when they say you can only take art classes, including Photography I, if you're an Art major. Fuck that. And it isn't offered as a minor. Bullshit, I say.

I guess my goal of not putting pictures up of myself, or at least ones where you can see my face, is thrown out the window. Why not one more?

This was taken exactly one year and one month ago. Take me to Tommy Hilfiger. Take me to Teen Vogue Fashion University. Take me to Bloomingdale's. Take me to New York City. Take me to Times Square.

Fuck, again.

Blind Faith - Had To Cry Today

My aunt sent my mother a bottle of wine through the mail and wrapped it with a magazine I've never heard of before. It is called Look New York and this particular one covered Spring 2009 in New York, Milan and Paris. This magazine is my new Bible. Nylon is fabulous and will always be my favourite, but my God have I found a gem. I spent my entire night reading every single word. I'm hooked. Also, the fashion photographer is amazing! His name is Benjamin Lowy and Badass is his game. Before this, he was taking pictures of war-torn countries. Awesome, dude.

1. Yves Saint Laurent

2. Maison Martin Margiela

3. Rick Owens

4. Oscar de la Renta

5. L'Wren Scott

6. L'Wren Scott

7. Lanvin

8. Garuth Pugh

9. Marc Jacobs

10. Rodarte

11. Roberto Cavalli

12. John Galliano

13. Christian Dior

14. Alexander McQueen


I really didn't mean for this post to be all about fashion, but Fashion Week just ended and I'm missing New York more than ever, so give me a break. I am especially homesick now that everytime I read my Facebook News Feed all I see are people from high school reuniting. Fuck.

Annuals - Brother

In honor of the number 23:

David Gray - This Years Love

I don't feel like using letters. So, here's to pictures being worth a thousand words.



I wish everything was as simple as this picture:


There are so many things about this picture that I adore. I could say a lot more, but I will leave it at that. But please fall in love with Nick's face, Dan Fran's dance moves, and Joey 'Yup in my white tee, I break a bitch back' Scordo:


People are starting to make their Christmas list. There's only one thing on mine, and I'm getting it, and it is this:


Sorry I couldn't get a picture. I'm even more sorry if the link doesn't work. But if you care about the Marc Jacobs bag that I hope to one day afford, then you'll copy and paste this:
http://www.marcjacobs.com/#lookId=39&folder=/marcbymarcjacobs/women/springsummer09/bags&

One of the happiest days of my life that I fear I will never get back:


I think it's obvious why I love this picture - double exposure!

Microphones - The Moon

In the woods there is a bird; his song stops you and makes you blush.

There is a clock that never strikes.

There is a hollow with a nest of white beasts.

There is a cathedral that goes down and a lake that goes up.

There is a little carriage abandoned in the copse or that goes running down the road beribboned.

There is a troupe of little actors in costume, glimpsed on the road through the border of the woods.

And then, when you are hungry and thirsty, there is someone who drives you away.

-an excerpt from Childhood by Arthur Rimbaud

Bob Dylan - Let Me Die In My Footsteps

^ I think I used that song as a blog title already, but I don't care. I'm listening to it, and I'm loving it.

+ I'm so disappointed in you, and when my dad asked me if you knew how disappointed I actually am, I thought the word "disappointed" was a little harsh, because I personally hate when my parents say they're not mad, just disappointed. But honestly, I am so disappointed in you and that's the only word I can come up with. I thought you were different, I thought we were friends, I thought you wanted to get better. I can't take care of you and I don't want to anymore. I listened to what you said and took all of it to heart, and it's not something I can just forget about. I'm sorry.

+ I will be somewhere far away, and you will have to take a plane ride to see me, and as much as I think I'm strong enough to leave you, I can't imagine not having you near me. I love you both and the thought of only seeing you a few times a year makes my chest hurt more than you will ever know. When you told me I was your blood and your life, I wanted to break down. I hope when that day comes that I stay and you leave, I will be a stronger person. I also hope it is all worth it, because if it isn't and for any possible reason it doesn't work out, I will come home to you. Don't be scared, you will always be my Mom and Dad.

+ It's wrong to say 'I think'. One should say 'I am thought'. I is someone else. I am present at the birth of my thoughts. I watch and I listen. I draw a stroke of the bow. The symphony stirs in the depths or comes with a leap to the stage. It began with waves of disgust and it ends as we can't immediately seize this eternity - It ends with a riot of perfumes.

+ On a lighter note, this makes me happy:


You find them both in Grand Canyon. With the sun down.

Dave Glasser - Apply

Watching Steven and Cory playing tonight really made we want to learn an instrument. I can't believe how musically retarted I am. Who gets kicked out of middle school band, honestly? Like why was I so damn ignorant that I couldn't even learn how to play the fucking bells? So anyway, I came back to the room tonight wanting to do nothing more than play Brittany's keyboard. So I unwrapped it of its towel raincoat and turned it on and went to play the only thing I know. And then there was no sound. Nothing happened. That would fucking happen. So what I have decided is, along with saving money for plane tickets, spending money in general, and future NYC tuition, I am going to get piano lessons. To learn a song on the piano is on my list of things to do before I'm 30. Well, I'm being an over-achiever here and getting lessons so I can learn many songs. What do you think about that, huh?

Whilst listening to Steven and Cory, I also read something that fascinated me out of my fascinating book by an author that does nothing more than fascinates me.

"'Preach abstinence from procreation in the name of making it always possible for English lords to gormandize, and it will go! Preach abstinence from procreation in the name of giving a greater pleasure, it will go! But try to persuade people to refrain from procreation in the name of morality-ye fathers! what an outcry! The human race would not be extinguished, because an attempt was made to keep men from being swine.'
'Nevertheless," said I, "if all men should adopt this for a law, the human race would be annihilated.'
'You ask: 'How would the human race be perpetuated?' ' said he. 'Why should it be continued-this human race of ours?' he exclaimed.
'Why do you ask such a question? Otherwise there would be no more of us.'
'Well, why should there be?'
'What a question-why, to live, of course!'
'But why should we live? If here is no other aim, if life was given only to perpetuate life, then there is no reason why we should live. And if this is so, then the Schopenhauers and Hartmanns, and all the Buddhists as well, are perfectly right. Now, if there is a purpose in life, then it is clear that life ought to come to an end when that purpose is attained. This is the logic of it," said he, with evident agitation, and seeming to set a high value on his thought. 'This is the logic of it. Observe: if the aim of mankind is happiness, goodness, love if ou prefer; if the aim of mankind is what is said in the prophecies that all men are to unite themselves in universal love, that the spears are to be beaten into pruning-hooks and the like, then what stands in the way of the attainment of this aim? Human passions do! Of all passions, the most powerul and vicious and obstinate is sexual, carnal love; and so if passions are annihilated and with them the last and most powerful, carnal love, then the prophecy will be fulfilled, men will be united together, the aim of mankind will have been attained, and there would be no longer any reason for existence. As long as humanity exists, this ideal will be before it, and of course this is not the ideal of rabbits or of pigs, which is to propagate as rapidly as possible, and it is not the ideal of monkeys or of Parisians, which is to enjoy all the refinements of sexual passion, but it is the ideal of goodness attained by self-restraint and chastity. Toward this men are now striving, and always have striven. And see what results.
It results that sexual love is the safety-valve. If the human race does not as yet attain this aim, it is simply because there are passions, and the strongest of them the sexual. But since there is sexual passion, a new generation comes along, and of course there is always the possibility that the aim may be attained by some succeeding generations until the aim is attained, until the prophecies are fulfilled, until all men are joined in unity. And then what would be the result?
If it be granted that God created men for the attainment of a certain end, then He must have created them mortal, without sexual passion, or immortal. If they were mortal, but without sexual passion, then what would be the result?-this: that they would live without attaining their aim, and then would die, so that, to attain the aim, God would have to create new men. But if they were immortal, then let us suppose, I say, that they reached their goal after many thousand years; but then, why should they? What good would the rest of their lives be to them? It is better as it is!....
But perhaps you do not approve this form of expression, perhaps you are an evolutionist. Even then it comes to the same thing. The highest genus of animals, men, in order to get the advantage in the conflict with other creatures, must band together, like a hive of bees, and not propagate irrefularly; must also, like the bees, nourish the sexless ones; in other words, must struggle toward continence, and never allow the kindling of the carnal lusts to which the whole arrangement of our life is directed.'
He paused.
'Will the human race come to an end? Can any one who looks at the world as it is have the slightest doubt of it? Why, it is just as certain as death is certain. We find the end of the world inculcated in all the teachings of the Church, and in all the teachings of Science it is likewise show to be inevitable.'"
-The Kreutzer Sonata by Leo Tolstoy.

Christopher McCandless got it all wrong. It wasn't Jack London. Leo Tolstoy is king.

Annuals - Hot Night Hounds

Yesterday was fantastic. Usually I don't write about any one day in particular, and I like it that way and will continue to keep it that way. But I really just need to stress how wonderful yesterday was. With that said, I am so happy with the amount of music that is consuming my life. It's a bummer that I don't have as much art in my life, like photography and drawing and all that good stuff, but the art of music is treating me so well lately. I've only gone to three concerts since being here, but that's three concerts basically once concert per month and that's more than I've ever seen/done. So it was Iron&Wine and The Swell Season, Ben Folds, and Annuals and Minus the Bear. Oh, and Anthony Green! I should have gone to The Mountain Goats and Kaki King, My Morning Jacket and Conor Oberst, but I'm dumb. And lastly, I could kick myself forever for not seeing Sigur Ros with Kristin. What is my problem? But let's not focus on what could have been.


Annuals - check Anna making love to the keyboard. Perfect. Oh! Another reason why yesterday was so great: as soon as I walked into the venue "Return of Innocence" by Enigma came on the speakers and I just stopped in my tracks and freaked out with joy! Such a lovely start to a lovely evening.


And these sweet headphones I bought from Urban. Way too expensive, yes, but so worth every penny. I'm using them right now and I can't even hear my fingers press the buttons. It might just be because my iPod headphones broke and sounded incredibly shitty, but the sound is amazing. I'm not even bummed on the obnoxious color. I think it's kind of cool, actually.

Tomorrow night, Marquee is having Matsiyahu, and in a few weeks they'll be having WuTang. Excited girl, I am! So now I just need to see Band of Horses, Sigur Ros, Josh Ritter and Iron & Wine again to be completely satisfied with this school year.

I'll leave you with this. The audio and video sucks, but it gets the point across that they are great live and have so much energy:

(Annuals - Brother)

Sufjan Stevens - For the Widows in Paradise, For the Fatherless in Ypsilanti

Today in psychology, we were introduced to psychological disorders and we came across phobias. She went over the most typical phobias, which are fear of heights and creepy crawlers. Then she shared some celebrity fears, like Nicole Kidman is afraid of butterflies. But the one that I thought most interesting and absolutely perfect was Woody Allen. Woody Allen fears insects, sunshine, dogs, deer, bright colors, children, heights, small rooms, crowds, cancer and anywhere except Manhattan.



I must see Manhattan!
And this is the same video clip, but rather than Woody Allen as a voice over, it is Jack Kerouac reading from Visions of Cody and On the Road. It's pretty sweet.



I'm getting way too homesick. I am really excited for Dan Fran to move out here though. He should be here the Sunday before Thanksgiving, which is actually quite soon now that I think of it! Hey, that's the 23rd! Don't even get me started... Anyway, I really hope he is intrigued with the idea of having a girl roommate because it's honestly starting to look like the only thing I could do as far as living goes for next year. I really will not be able to afford $500-$700 a month next year, and even though my parents are not against that idea, I really don't want them to have to worry about that. I really just need to work and save all of my money. I have much more to say on this topic, but I still have this research paper to write and still have no motivation to do it. Someone needs to be sitting next to me so I can concentrate. That really would not make any sense to anyone else, but I really do get 'in the zone' when someone is next to me, either doing their own work or reading or just hanging out. When they leave, I start getting distracted by myself and go on Facebook, iChat, this stupid thing, etc. And now the auto save isn't working because "Could not contact Blogger.com. Saving and publishing may fail. Retrying..."

Enigma - Return of Innocence

I miss the days when I danced with my Dad to this song. Another best memory.

Josh Ritter - Girl In the War

My Biggest Fear?
Disappearance. Yeah, I don't assume anyone would really understand this. Most answers are heights, spiders, death, etc. but I'm afraid of disappearance. Not like being kidnapped or anything, I'm so afraid of 'the last ____'. I'm afraid of people leaving. Maybe it's because I've had to deal with so many important people in my life passing away at an early age, but please don't confuse that with death. I'm just afraid you will be taken away from me, either by your own will or some other heartbreaking force. I don't want you to leave. I don't want to quit. I don't want change. I don't want the disappearance of your love, your smile, your touch, your warmth. I'm so afraid of everything being taken away. Maybe that's why I keep nearly everything. I need it close. Don't disappear on me.

My Thankful Leaf?
I have no idea. I hate having to even think about it because I just feel silly with every little thing that I am grateful for. I will tell you what I'm grateful for, you will listen, and you will love and appreciate what I am thankful for more than you did. You will acknowledge these things. But someone who doesn't know me, fully know me, will find out what I'm thankful for and not understand. They won't think about those little things. They will think it pretentious that some silly girl would even think of those things. I am thankful for the smell of wet leaves. I am thankful for the eternal sky. I am thankful for the letter that came in my mailbox. I am thankful for the canyon. I am thankful for brush strokes. I am thankful for the light of the moon peaking through the tree branches on a cold November evening. I am thankful for the wind.

My Favorite Day of the Week?
Tuesday. You died on a Tuesday. You asked for my hand on a Tuesday. You told people about me on a Tuesday. You came to me on a Tuesday, you will leave me on a Tuesday. I ran from you and then back to you on a Tuesday. You gave me a second chance on a Tuesday. It will always be Tuesday.

Best Memory?
You pushed me in a little red wagon. You slept in my lap through the mountains of Colorado. You talked to me on the phone all night as we hung our heads upside-down over the side of the bed. You sang to me in my car when you weren't even there. You brought me flowers at 4 A.M. You kept me warm. You told me I was the rose. You painted me a picture. You let me h0ld you while you cried in the corner of my bed. You showed me the stars. I showed you the sunrise. You waited for me. You love me. You made a basket for me. You cried with me as the reality of it all came crashing down. It is all of you.

God?
Sometimes. Sometimes I think I never did. Sometimes I think I never stopped. Sometimes, there's nothing else. The Bible is a story. The miracles are unbelievable. But something greater? Can anyone believe in something they cannot see, hear, touch, taste? It's like asking if you can believe in love, trust, peace, imagination. Of course I can. I believe in all that is beautiful.

I am truly a girl in the war. Pretend the dove from above is a dragon and your feet are on fire. Do it for me now.

The Swell Season - I Have Loved You Wrong

Fleetwood Mac - Gold Dust Woman

I don't care how dumb, senseless, prissy, girlie, silly or materialistic it comes off as. It's something I plan on wrapping my life around. Marcelo and I will create A.Gaia and it will be more than fashion. We have only talked about it a few times, but I still hold it as a goal. It doesn't have to happen immediately. Most designers are older anyway, except of course Alexander Wang, and the boys behind Proenza Schouler and Heatherette, but they got lucky. I want to work my way up. Start in magazines, boutiques, People's Revolution, anywhere. I plan on working for Nanette Lepore this summer, and if not that, then I'll apply for an internship with Nylon and I could probably get it since I know Rajni Lucienne Jacques (I love saying her name). Whatever. Read 'em and weep, suckahs.

I love you:

3.1 Phillip Lim
Alberta Ferretti
Alexander McQueen
Alexander Wang

Alice Roi
Anna Sui
Badgley Mischka
Balenciaga
BCBG Max Azria
Betsey Johnson
Boy by Band of Outsiders
Calvin Klein
Carmen Marc Valvo
Carolina Herrera
Central Saint Martins
Chanel
Chloe
Christian Dior
Christian Lacroix
Commes de Garcons
Cynthia Rowley
Derek Lam
Diane von Furstenberg

Dolce & Gabbana
Donna Karan
Doo.Ri
Dsquared
Emporio Armani
Erin Fetherston
Fendi
Giorgio Armani
Givenchy
Gucci
Heatherette

Hermes
House of Holland
Isaac Mizrahi
Jean Paul Gaultier
Jeremy Scott
John Galliano
Jovovich-Hawk
Karen Walker
Karl Lagerfeld
Lacoste
Lanvin
La Perla
Louis Vuitton
Luela
Malandrino
Marc by Marc Jacobs

Marc Jacobs
MaxAzria
MaxMara
McQ
Michael Kors
Missoni
Miss Sixty
Miu Miu
Moschino
Nanette Lepore
Narciso Rodriguez
Nicole Miller
Nina Ricci
Oscar de la Renta
Peter Som
Philosophy
Ports 1961
Prada
Proenza Schouler

Rag & Bone
Ralph Lauren
Reyes
Roberto Cavalli
Rock & Republic
Rodarte
The Row
Salvatore Ferragamo
Stella McCartney
Thakoon
Threeasfour
Tommy Hilfiger
Topshop Unique
Tracy Reese
Tuleh
Valentino
Vera Wang
Versace
Viktor & Rolf
Vivienne Westwood
Yves Saint Laurent
Zac Posen

Fashion is art.

Placebo - Running Up That Hill

So Joey had this bright idea. Since I really love the videos made for Sigur Ros, I should look up other videos that the director has done. So I find out the director's name is Floria Sigismondi, which in itself is fucking awesome. So the other videos were alright, but could never compare to the Sigur Ros ones. The other ones, i.e. Interpol's "Obstacle 1", is just so...ordinary. And awkwardly predictable for a music video. I mean, they can't all be masterpieces. Aside from the disappointment with her other videos, her photography is nothing short of: amazing, intriguing, stirring, captivating, breathtaking, and so on. So here you go!



A personal favourite:






Another favourite:

Rilo Kiley - Silver Lining

Explosions in the Sky - What Do You Go Home To?

A fortune cookie once told me that, "Your ability to find the silly in the serious will take you far." I've been having some difficulty finding the silly in the serious lately, but I do find this hilarious:




For the past two Psychology classes, I've been thinking about putting my notes into a post. I'm not really sure how exciting that would be for ALL of you, but I think most of it is interesting. Shocker, right? I find my major interesting. But really, I think I'll stick with it now. It really could apply to almost any job. Fuck this topic.

Sometimes I think all of this is very unfair. Actually, scratch that. This is all very unfair. I've said it before, I know. But it is. Damn it, I can't even say all that I need to say. Fuck this topic, too.

My birthday is on Sunday. I'll be nineteen. Where is that going to get me? I plan on jumping out of a plane on Tuesday since it's Veteran's Day but it will cost $169 and the video is $59; and that's with the student discount. I was hoping it would be the birthday present from my parents, but my mom is against it and refuses to pay for it. Same with my dad. Aunt Debbie understands that they should let me, but my parents are more uptight than they should be. I have $80 now that I don't plan on spending and I'll probably get money from family (via mail, so who knows when that will show up at my mailbox). If all of that isn't enough I'll have to go into my envelope, which I would rather not do because that's supposed to help me when I need money desperately.

This is my ultimate goal:
http://www.newschool.edu/

I am not supposed to be here. I need to go home. I don't go to frat parties. I don't get drunk. I don't trust people. I don't get separated from Brittany. I don't get lost in Scottsdale. I don't walk into my room at 6 in the morning.

This is not me. This is not my Halloween. This is not right.